Episode 112: Understanding Our People by First Understanding Loss and the Self, with Karen Chaston
In Episode 112 of The Business Habitat podcast, Sam is joined by International best-selling author, speaker and Beyond Loss Expert, Karen Chaston, to talk about understanding loss, the self, and how we can benefit from looking after ourselves first.
In this inspiring and through-provoking conversation, Karen shares how a family tragedy was the catalyst for her own journey of self-discovery and the realisation of how few people really understand loss and how to move forward with it.
As CFO of a publicly listed company, Karen knew that she was outwardly successful. She had the great salary, the house, the car, the family, and to the casual observer she seemed to have it all. But she was dying inside. She wanted to create a life that she loved, that she felt excited to wake up to every morning. Like so many others, Karen pushed down her feelings of dissatisfaction and compensated with avoidance tactics – too much shopping, too much eating and drinking, too much working – until something happened that changed her life forever.
In this deeply personal account, Karen shares how the tragic loss of her 27 year old son in 2011 sent her into a tailspin that challenged every aspect of her life, before leading her to an epiphany and the realisation of her true passion and purpose.
Over the course of the last eight years, Karen has come to appreciate how few people truly understand loss and the impact it can have in our lives. In this conversation, Karen explains that the loss of a loved one is not the only type of loss that we are likely to experience in our lifetime. There are more than forty different types of loss, including separation, divorce, financial and perhaps the most debilitating of all, loss of our own identity.
Sam and Karen explore how the lack of “loss intelligence” in our society causes flow-on effects in leadership effectiveness, whether it be leadership of our teams, or more importantly, leadership of ourselves. Karen has written multiple books on the topic, most notably the best-selling “Demystifying Loss”, and through her business “The Chaston Centre” works with businesses to build stronger team dynamics through improved understanding of their people.
Throughout this conversation, Sam and Karen encourage each of us to look deep within, so that we may move past the constant need to merely survive and find the way to thrive.
Listen to an excerpt
What we cover in this episode
Dealing with family tragedy
Karen’s ‘Groundhog Day’ epiphany
Understanding the different types of loss
The lack of loss intelligence
Common avoidance tactics
Why it’s important to take care of yourself first
Karen’s top tips for increasing your loss intelligence
Quotes
“We don't understand loss. Most of us think loss is the death of a loved one and that's about it, but there's over 40 different loss events that can affect all of our lives” - Karen
“One of the major ones is anger it's really quite interesting how people go to anger to deflect others” - Karen
“Every single one of us - we will come to a time in our life where we are going to stop looking outside and start to work within because that's where our true answers are” - Karen
“We have to start where it all begins and stops, and it's internal work and I can tell you it's the hardest work you'll ever do but it's the most effective, it's the most efficient, it's the most uncomfortable and it is the most rewarding” - Sam
“A world class leader is a person who inspires others to look after themselves” - Karen
“The more you deep dive into yourself you understand that our first derivative is to survive, but our second is to thrive and most of us don't get past the survival into that thriving stage” - Karen
“At the end of the day, at the beginning of your life and at the end of your life, you are the only person you are going to spend your entire life with. There is no one else you spend 24/7 so why is it that we deflect and we give up on our hopes, dreams and aspirations” - Karen
Links mentioned
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